“War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.” – Unknown
Watch enough – read enough – live enough. At some point it becomes clear that most of us are the products of dysfunctional families.
My youth defines dysfunctional.
My father graduated from Yale. My mother, a product of the depression, never got the opportunity to finish high school.
My father, at best, was an agnostic. A true Wasp.
My mother, at her worst, was a radical Catholic. All non-Catholics are going to hell. If it feels good, it must be a sin.
The clash of these two disparate backgrounds never coalesced enough to raise the four of us with one definitive sense of direction.
For me, it is still a great mystery why these two ever decided to cohabit and pro create.
About my 13th birthday I began to realize that my parents were different. I didn’t understand how or why, but I just knew something was wrong.
They didn’t physically abuse us. Emotionally, they crippled a few of us and absolutely destroyed one of us. Three of us are still alive. Each of us, to some degree, still suffer and we always will.
I finally made peace with myself and my parents. I came to realize they were merely the products of their own dysfunctional families and that they absolutely did the best they could with what they had. Can’t ask for much more.
One thing I can’t make peace with is the human fault that perpetuates dysfunctional relationships. My God, don’t you think that as a species we should have figured it by now.
“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain