What Was I Thinking?

“You don’t know what unconditional love is if you don’t have a child, you don’t know what that is.” – Regina King


So yesterday I finally got those rain gutters installed that the house so badly needed.

As the installers drove away I thought now I need rain to test those beautiful new gutters.

In my mind I performed an elaborate Indian Rain Dance. To test the new rain gutters. Got to test the gutters.

That night, the rain Gods obliged. With a vengeance. A mighty storm blew in from the Texas panhandle and spawned buckets of rain and………a nasty tornado.

A frantic pounding on our bedroom door at 1:30 am woke us with start. Our daughter announced with each desperate hammer – ‘WAKE UP.  A TORNADO IS HEADED OUR WAY.’

What the hell?

The TV was on and sure enough, they were telling us all to take cover as they tracked the beast moving relentlessly towards our neighborhood.

Tornado sirens wailed and rain pounded our fragile home. We huddled and prayed.

As if a final goodbye, my daughter cried I love you.

So there I sat with two women, a dog, a cat, and my thoughts.

What was I thinking as we wrapped arms and prayed? Important things like death? Praying for my soul?

No. I was thinking I should have waited one more day to install those gutters.



“On the ‘Star,’ you were forced to learn to write a simple declarative sentence. This is useful to anyone.– Ernest Hemmingway


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Parent’s Day

“The older you get, the quieter you become. Life humbles you deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.”


Mother’s Day. A day, set aside, to celebrate Mothers.

But wait. There can be no Mothers without Fathers. Is it not so?

So why a Mother’s Day only? Why a Father’s Day only? There could not be either without the other. Right?

So……………how about a Parent’s Day. Celebrate both as one.

What a concept.


“I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can’t stop them. They leave me and I love them more.” Maurice Lenda

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This Could Kill You

“Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions.”

Woke up Tuesday morning in a sweat. 103 temp. Could not move. I was sick. Very sick.

About noon my wife told me I needed to see a doctor.

Too weak to argue, she dressed me and Ann got the car ready as I struggled with my emotions. What the hell was going on?

We went to one of those medical emergency establishments. They took blood, chest x-rays, and swabs.

30 minutes later, the Doc came in.

So Doc…have I got the flu?



Not only do you have the flu with a high temperature, but you also have pneumonia.

I was stunned.

You need to go to a hospital Emergency.

Slowly I begin to comprehend.

In the meantime can you give me some prescriptions?

You don’t understand. Given your age, this could kill you. You must go to hospital Emergency now.

Kill me? Wow. What?

So we went. 2 days later, after multiple X-rays, a steady dose of IV drugs, and multiple blood tests all administered by wonderful hospital staff, I emerged. Busted out.

I’m still recovering but feeling much better. In a few days, I’ll be good.

But I can’t get over that statement……………”This could kill you.”

What an attention getter that was.


“It is not necessary to know what a person is afraid of. It is enough to know the person is afraid” – “The Sins of the Fathers” by Lawrence Block

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“It’s hard to remember that life is a miracle. We’re just living it and we forget that.” – Rachel Weis

This is Betty.

She’s 91 years young.

Born and raised in a small town in Northeastern Oklahoma.

Lives now in an assisted living facility in Sand Springs, OK.

She has two children and a number of grandchildren, great grandchildren as well as a few great great grandchildren.

Every other day she travels about 15 miles to a dialysis center in Sapulpa, OK for treatment.

And every once in a while I get lucky and get to drive her there.

She is a marvelous lady and she brightens my day.

“The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.” – Harry S. Truman

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Get Out of My Tepee

“My greatest challenge has been to change the mindset of people. Mindsets play strange tricks on us. We see things the way our minds have instructed our eyes to see.” – Muhammad Yunus

Maybe you’ve noticed.

Chances are if you live in Oklahoma you have.

We have thousands, maybe millions, of blue eyed, white skinned Indians living in this great State. That’s right. Obviously white, obviously Caucasian or European people, are now claiming to be American Indian.

They are on TV all the time.

What’s this all about?

The other day I had this guy in the Van who claimed to be American Indian. Cherokee specifically. He had 1/32 Indian blood. So he said. What? That means he is Cherokee?

Folks………….there is absolutely NO WAY anyone in their right mind would ever believe this guy was American Indian.

Even stranger, he went on and on about his CULTURE. HIS CULTURE. About how his people had been done wrong. By the white man of course. He’s 99.9% white.

Said he wouldn’t carry a $20 bill because of whose face is on it. Not only that, he had a case re George Washington for his treatment of American Indians. His people His culture,

Who is this guy? Is he right in the head?

Bet real, bona-fide American Indians get upset with these interlopers.

“No man is considered just and virtuous who does not know whence he came and whither he is going” – Napoleon Bonaparte

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You never know

“I’m not afraid of chaos and I’m happy talking to strangers. I really love not knowing where I’m going.” – Fiona Shaw


Not a big fan of chaos. Fact is, I kind of fear it.

However, I’m not averse to speaking with strangers.

Not initially anyway.

Once they reveal themselves thru speech or body language I quickly decide to proceed or not. Suppose we all do that.

Sometimes, meeting a stranger is a home run. That was the case with William Cash.

Picked him up at his Physician’s office for a trip to his home way in the backwoods of Eastern Oklahoma. Way out there. So far out there my GPS didn’t work. Plenty of time to chat.

So William……got to ask…………….are you related to the big guy…..Johnny?

Image result for pics of johnny cash

Matter of fact, I am his second cousin.

Wow. Cool. So did you ever meet him?

Several times at family functions.

What was he like?

Real nice guy but kind of quiet. I also met Willy Nelson and B.B. King. Had breakfast with Willie once. The waitress told him he looked just like Willie Nelson. He told her he gets told that a lot. Never let on that he was Willie Nelson.

And that’s the way our conversation went during the 45 minute ride to his country Hacienda.

He was also a professional diver and had worked on the construction of off shore drilling rigs in the Gulf of Mexico.

A diver in an armoured diving suit stands on a launch and recovery platform on the support vessel, attended by a crewman.

A very interesting and engaging guy.

You never know.


“I definitely see the value in not knowing everything and having mystery in life and mystery in people.” – Adam Driver


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“Time washes away all traces of what had been” – Starvation Heights by Gregg Olsen


I’m at that age when family and friends are dying much too frequently.

Lost another good friend last week. At 68, a too young friend.

Parked her car, got out, died. Just like that. That quick.

Nothing I experienced earlier in life prepared me for this stage.


“The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a man while he lives – the death of genuine feeling the death of inspired response the awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or the glory of other men in yourself.” – Norman Cousins

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“Shrinking away from death is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose.” – Carl Jung

Do you agree with this quote?

I’m not sure I do. On the other hand, I’m not even sure I understand it.

It probably depends on one’s idea of a good life that, to me, would include relative good health and comparative independence from want.

Given that, why wouldn’t one shrink from death?

I surely don’t want to die. I’ll go kicking and screaming.

Seems to me accepting death is unhealthy and abnormal.I understand there are exceptions. Untreatable, unrelenting, horrible pain for example. Still.

I love Mark Twain. His quotes are spot on.

Except this one.

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” – Mark Twain

 What say you?

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The Sea

“There’s something about the water-that solitary kind of peaceful feeling you’re on earth, but not quite.” – John C. Reilly

Image result for pics of ocean

For sure – there’s something about water.

It kind of freaks me out. Scares the living you know what out of me.

Especially the ocean.

Don’t like the sea.

Too big. Dark. Menacing.

Image result for pics of ocean

Maybe I drowned at sea in an earlier life.

Terra Firma for me.

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Hate Speech

“He severed the umbilical cord to the rest of humanity” – The Thirst by Jo Nesbo

That’s what I seem to be doing. Severing most ties to the rest of humanity.

Hell, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

Seeming intelligent people, some dear friends, just can’t help themselves.

What’s the point of publicly exposing your unsolicited prejudiced political views on Facebook or other public forums?

Do you really think your rants are going to influence anyone?

Change minds?


Yes I have strong political views. But they are mine alone. Not for public consumption.

And, let’s face it. No one cares what I believe, especially if they don’t agree.

And no one cares what you believe either.

What we really care about is how YOU treat others.

So please, keep your hate speech to yourself.

Otherwise, our friendship might be altered.

“Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.” – Irving Berlin

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