A Weekend In Jail

“Life doesn’t have to be complicated” – Lou Holtz

I’d rather spend the week-end in jail than:

Swim in any body of water in, near or around Australia

Have anything to do with the NFL.

Spend a winter in Alaska.

Go to confession.

Go skydiving.

Climb Mt Everest.

Eat raw oysters.

Visit the Middle East.

Visit Europe.

Ever leave the U.S. for any reason for any amount of time.

“He considered whether you ever found out if you had made the right decisions while you were still alive” – The Redeemer by Jo Nesbo

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Retirement

“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done” – Rudy Francisco

I’m adjusting to this new lifestyle. Retirement. I know it will be good. However, there is a period of adjustment.

While we were working, I had structure. A reason to get up. People to meet. Tasks to accomplish.

Now……….not so much.

No reason to get up. Other than the fear of terminal bed sores of course.

Structure? Eating at regular intervals. That counts. Doesn’t it?

Tasks? Well………………..Hmmmmmm. There are random honey do’s.

Such as TRIPS TO WALMART, which I actually look forward to. Am I in trouble?

Challenges? I share a space with two women. Think about that one.

“Life contains only a certain number of emotions” – One man’s experience of prison by John Hoskison

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Fats

“The sad thing is nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. We could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and we wouldn’t even know it” – Unknown

It was 1956. I was 13. We had just moved to Shaw AFB in Sumter, S.C.

My brother and I were scanning the radio dial about 8 pm one night when we stumbled onto a black radio station out of some non-descript backwater town somewhere in the bowels of the State.

It was playing Blueberry Hill by Fats Domino and we were instantly excited by this “New” sound. We had never heard anything like it. For us, the birth of Rock N Roll.

Sad we had to listen to Black radio stations late at night to hear this new sound with that fantastic beat. Back then, white stations would not play black music.

I was stunned by Fat’s death yesterday. Another icon of my generation is gone. Another legend, Chuck Berry passed earlier in the year.

As these icons of my life pass away, a sadness grips me.

Is that normal?

“I have to write things down to feel I truly comprehend them” – Haruki Murakami

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Life After………

“Make choices and live with the consequences” – Lou Holtz

It’s been 3 weeks since I officially withdrew from the NFL fandom and guess what………………….there is life after the NFL.

Instead of 4 to 5 hours with my eyes glued to the tube I might read. Or walk. Even listen to beautiful music. Perhaps engage in a friendly discussion of unimportant nonsense just for the fun of it.

And the further I get from the “politicized” broadcasts of the current NFL, the more human and peaceful I become.

I’ve still got College football. Now if that slice of the sports pie ever decides to emulate the NFL well, I guess I’ll just have to engage in even more pleasant activities like, oh I don’t know, maybe just think more.

“Make choices and live with the consequences” – Lou Holtz

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Line In The Dirt

“In all of history, there is a constancy, Nations either progress or decay” – To the Last Man by Jeff Shaara

There are moments in life when we are forced to confront a harsh reality. Draw a line in the dirt that, defined by each of us, is impossible to cross.

The outside world, all life outside my shrinking circle of family and friends, just won’t leave me in peace.

All I want and need is family, a few really close friends, good books, soothing music, excellent health, and a few select other diversions completely void of politics and strife.

I really enjoy certain shows on National Geographic, Discovery Channel, History Channel, and Animal Planet.

That sort of thing. No politics. No ideological confrontations. No detrimental human behavior.

And sports. Specifically College Football. But also some interest in the NFL.

No more. The NFL crossed the line. Disrespecting our flag and anthem is just too much.

The NFL no longer exists for me. It is dead. Gone. Over. This is not a knee jerk reaction. Been thinking and analyzing this development for days.

Don’t need Jimmy Johnson, Terry Bradshaw or other self-important talking heads prognosticating and preaching to me about this or anything else.

I have a brain. I have experience in life. I have common sense and an abiding understanding of life on the planet.

I can think for myself thank you. And on this matter I know I’m right.

The line in the dirt has been drawn. I will not cross it.

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it” – Dale Carnegie

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Easy Open

“Laughter is good for the soul and all your interior works.”  – News of the World by Paulette Jiles

Easy open. Just peel and lift.

Ok.

Remove black plastic top.

Lift the tab and gently pull.

Gently pull my @#$.

It took an act of Congress and a hernia to get this baby open.

It didn’t end there.

Honey. What could be more innocuous? Yet………..

Remove yellow cap. OK.

Now, just lift and peel. I lost my religion over this.

Adding insult to injury. My wife, witnessing my distress, took charge and easily removed the tab.

Ok God. I give up. Tell me what I did wrong and my penance.

“Human nature had not evolved along with its machines” – To the Last Man by Jeff Shaara

Posted in America, Behavior, evil, Food, God, life, packaging, Texas, torture | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Am So Screwed

“God was often busy elsewhere” – Master of War by David Gilman

After 20 years of living, working, and travelling in a motor-home, we finally hit the wall. Time for a rather dramatic life style change.

These past 10 days we’ve been involved with the move to the spare bedroom in our daughter’s house.

Such things as painting the walls, installing new flooring, and scheduling delivery of our new bedroom furniture.

Not only must I adapt to living in a house, it seems I must also learn to live as a minority. That is, as the only male on the premises.

I am no longer the Alpha Male. Could it be? Emasculated? Gulp.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am surrounded by women. And it seems they won’t acquiesce to or even recognize my lofty status as the ALPHA MALE.

I’ve tried to correct this assault on the laws of nature with logic and a calm demeanor but to no avail.

I am reminded of my new status with remarks like “Deal with it” or “Do the math” or “What are you doing” or “Back away from the thermostat”. And the most terrifying of all, the dreaded “We’re going shopping”.

I am so screwed.

Eating well though.

“Where does a man first go wrong?” – Julep Street by Craig Lancaster

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The Facts of Life

“Never miss a good chance to shut up” – Will Rogers

Let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees and a thing called love.

When a woman asks you what you think, keep your mouth shut. This is a trap. Your opinion is their excuse to blame you for everything.

This is especially true with home decoration. Color, patterns, designs etc. These are minefields to avoid.

If a woman asks for your opinion, look that woman directly in the eyes and state unequivocally that the choice is all hers and that she, and she alone, is completely responsible for HER decision.

And make sure you have witnesses.

“Laugh loud and often, as much as possible, and especially at yourself” – Critical Care by Theresa Brown

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Sticker Shock

“It was the word, sad. Sad has an ugly weight” – The Forgotten Man by Robert Crais

Moving to a stick house with our daughter presented us with a small dilemma. What to do with the Motorhome? Sell it? Donate it? Scrap it? Keep it? Decisions, Decisions.

Eventually we decided to keep it and this required an investment of shrinking funds to make it drivable and livable.

Time and the Texas sun wreaked havoc with the old gal, especially the windshield.

The rubber gasket holding the windshield had to be replaced. It had deteriorated so much that the windshield was beginning to fall out.

Cruising at 65 was like flying a mission with the Red Baron in WWI. The wind. The sound. Boogeyman at 3 o’clock.

So………………………..contacted a local glass co. Told them what I needed.

Tech comes out. Eyeballs the situation. Takes measurements. Utters a few Tsk, Tsks. Shakes his head. Frowns.

I’m not liking the body language. This could go south in a hurry.

Next day I get a call from said glass co.

Total cost including labor will be $1,700.

What? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Not possible.

Could you repeat that? $1,700. Are you sure? I want to see the invoice with breakdown.

There it is. In black and white. Gasket+shipping+packing+tax+mark up comes to $1,000. Labor $700. Total $1,700.

Moral of the story – Get in the gasket business.

“What seed ripened more fruitfully than greed” – Criss Cross by Tom Kakonis

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Texas Proud

“Our government protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators” – Will Rogers

 

All Congressmen, Senators, and, indeed, the entire Federal Government in D.C. should take a long look at the way Texas and our governor in particular, Greg Abbott, has responded to this horrible disaster that hit our gulf coast.

Hey Washington – pay attention. This is how it’s done.

 

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for” – Will Rogers

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