Wow. Just experienced my first earthquake.

Was working on the computer when, at 5:22 am, the room shook. Not too much but enough to get my attention. It lasted just a few seconds and left me wondering.

What the hell was that? Went to the bedroom. Gaby awake in bed. She asks, “did you feel that earthquake?” That confirmed it for me.

News reported it was a 4.3 quake centered in Perry, OK., about 80 miles west of Tulsa.

Scratch that off my bucket list.





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A Gift

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” – Aristotle


My daughter Ann is Bi-Polar. It is a very difficult condition to live with. A heavy cross to carry. And especially difficult to carry alone. No one to share the load. No one to laugh or cry with.

Around 2007 she was diagnosed. Before that, we had no idea. I didn’t even know what Bi-Polar was. I read. I learned. Or so I thought.

I had no idea how brave she is. How determined she was to deal with life in spite of her life long sentence to forever travel a road full of emotional pit falls.

She lived alone for about 20 years. During that time she worked, bought a house, rescued and cared for abandoned pets, got on with living, alone.

We had no idea of the hell she was dealing with. We knew it was difficult. We had no idea just how difficult. Now that we’ve witnessed the ups and downs first hand we understand.

In the short period we’ve lived with Ann, I’ve had to reevaluate my convictions of so much I thought was absolute and, somewhat set in my ways, I was able to make a few adjustments. It took some time but I was up to the task.

Oddly enough, it pleases me to realize that I’m not a complete dogmatic old fart.

So the other day Ann and I were sitting outside, just soaking up a nice, warm, spring day.

It seemed like the perfect time to share a few thoughts with her.

Ann, I want you to know something. This is not a one way trip we are on. You have given me a wonderful gift since we’ve been here.  Something that has been missing in my life.

The gift of laughter.

You have a marvelous sense of humor. You have a gift. And you make me laugh till my body screams for mercy. I believe it to be one of the greatest gifts of all. Thank you for making the pain go away.

Why are you crying Ann?

Because when you die, I’ll be lost. No reason to go on.

That caused me to pause and collect my thoughts.

We don’t know what the future holds. It’s been my experience that somehow each life will always find a purpose. Look forward to the discovery. That is reason enough to live.

Then we both wept.

God help me. I pray I articulated the appropriate thought.


“Suicide always seems like a very unpleasant sneer at the rest of the human race” – Dead Low Tide by John D. Mcdonald

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I don’t get it.

“One day you just wake up and discover that you got old while you were sleeping.” – “This is where I leave you” – by Jonathan Tropper

My cousin Richard. Three years older than I. What a guy. When I was 15, he was my hero.

He had a license and a car.

Did fun things like drive that old 49 Ford from the passenger side so it would look like nobody was driving that thing and other such nonsense.

Fun loving guy. Free spirit. Always so full of life.

Now, at 78, that guy is just hanging on. Waiting to die.

He never married and lives alone with his thoughts, memories, and a few health issues. Nothing fatal. Just annoying.

Here’s the rub. He’s ready to die. Any day. Right now.

His attitude just infuriates me. How can he be so casual about death?

I don’t want to die. Not now. Maybe in 500 years.

I have my demons. My health issues. But dying is not an option.

I won’t acknowledge it.

How is it possible to be so insouciant about one’s mortality?

I don’t get it.

“I hated that kind of reflex, to gloss over the scabs of a person’s life. No one was perfect, except in tragic death” – The Thirst by Jo Nesbo

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“The best survival strategy was always to copy old men, because they, after all, were the winners, the survivors” – The Thirst by Jo Nesbo

Too many of us fail to break the crippling grip of our environment and life experiences. Sad and very unfortunate for mankind.

Given that we are all flawed, why would anyone allow another human being to advise them how to think on such important and personal issues as religion, politics, and morals?

Possibly there is a celestial penalty we all pay for failure to utilize our brain’s capacity to think.

There certainly is an earthly price.

Having shared these thoughts…………………………..



It’s the same model of intellectual submission that dictatorships have used throughout time, the concept of a higher reasoning without any obligation to discharge the burden of proof” – The Redeemer by Jo Nesbo

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“It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing, when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.” – Rod Serling

With time on my hands, I watch TV. Too much of it.

There are some very good shows on National Geographic, Discovery, History, Science channels and a few others. PBS if they keep politics out of it.

Here’s the thing, the caveat, the Achilles heel. We are forced to suffer those @#$%&() COMMERCIALS!!!!!!!!!!!

Back when I watched very little TV, I had no idea growing older came with so many health traps.

Now, any abnormal twitch or sudden alteration in bodily functions warns me of the early stages of dementia, paranoia, rheumatoid arthritis, gum disease, worm infection, heart disease, E.D., and a plethora of other ailments accompanying the aging process.

Worse yet, I’ve developed a fear of driving. The odds are that a big truck will plow into me and burden my family with Millions of Dollars in medical bills and leave me paralyzed, in a hospital bed, for two years.

I will end up broke, homeless, and shunned by society.

Unless I call a lawyer


“You can live to be a hundred if  you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred” – Woody Allen

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Image result for brain quotes funny

Per a recent a study, our brains decay 5% per decade after age 40.


So my brain is almost 18% less effective.

I’m sure some of my family and friends would doubt the accuracy of that number. Too conservative they would say.

I doubt I’ll live long enough to become a complete idiot.

On the other hand, I could destroy the curve.

Image result for brain quotes funny

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“Words are such gross machinery, so primitive and ambiguous” – Frank Herbert

I love words. Not as much as say Hamburgers but………………

I like the way they work together to communicate a thought, a command, a wish, an emotion.

However, I’m amazed that the English language has so many different words that have the same meaning.

Words that most of us have never heard or used. Would not be able to pronounce or use correctly.


Demonym. – name used for the people who live in a particular country, State, or other locality.

Moria – A persons fate or destiny.

Senectitude – The last stage of life.

An English speaking person could speak a strange and unintelligible language using unknown dictionary verses.

I read that English has more words than most world languages.

I wonder how many of those words are archaic and unnecessary. Wasting valuable space.

Just sayin.

”Words don’t have power to hurt, unless the person who says those words means a lot to you”

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How could I?

“Fundamental changes of behavior hardly ever happen. Human beings are notorious. They insist on making the same mistakes over and over again, even after they’ve received new information” – The Thirst by Jo Nesbo

At various stages of my life I’ve said, what are in hindsight, thoughtless things that permanently altered a relationship. My friend or loved one was offended in a way I never intended and that relationship either died immediately or in time just faded away.

I lost a valuable resource.

I ask myself: How could I have been so stupid? So thoughtless?

Most often there is no answer.

Have you ever been there? I hope so because I don’t want to be alone in this.

Sad to be so flawed. So human.

“If you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on earth”

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A Great Guy

“The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy.” – Oscar Wilde

In about 2 weeks I will celebrate my 75th birthday. God I’m old. Anyway, oddly enough, the years have rewarded me with something. Understanding. Comprehension. Some peace. Some reconciliation.

I think I’m beginning to figure it all out. And when I do, I’ll share with all of you.

Am I a great guy or what?

“It’s absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious” – Oscar Wilde

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“I hate it when people are at your house and they ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’ No, we pee in the yard.”

 Phone rings. A number I don’t recognize. Most of the time I don’t answer these calls. But it is local and what the hell? Go for it.


Is this Mr. ******?

Well I don’t know. Maybe Mr. ****** is unavailable. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you. Maybe he’s disposing of a body. Who is this and what do you want?

It really annoys me when I get a call like that. What’s wrong with: This is Doctor Johnson’s office calling to confirm an appointment. Is Mr. ****** available?

Manners. A lost art.

And how about this?

Several days ago we checked into a hotel in Sherman, Tx.

Do you have a room preference?

Not really. Just not close to the elevator.

How about 205? Is that OK?

Gee……I don’t know. I’ve never been in 205. Did not know it even existed?

Does it have a bed? How about a toilet? Does it have a toilet?

And a shower. That would be nice.

What kind of a stupid question is that? Is 205 OK? Gee…..I don’t know. What do you think?

Honestly, I did not respond that way. But I wanted to.

“You can get through life with bad manners, but it’s easier with good manners.” 


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