The Sound of Silence

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up” – Hunter S. Thompson

We left our gate and the oil patch two weeks ago and temporarily reside in a Corps of Engineers park on Proctor Lake. Just chillin. Sleeping a lot as well.

Kind of collecting our wits. Missed those wits.

Been doing some thinking. Seems a huge chunk of my time these days is consumed with introspection. Possibly a lifetime of idiocy is a recipe for either suicide or excruciating examination.

Anyway.

What has my attention now is silence. Wonderful, peaceful, soothing. Absence of noise.

No alarm bells going off. No generators assaulting senses with a constant hum.

No ground vibrating truck traffic.

No wind driven dirt sanding the shell of our RV.

Had forgotten how wonderful the sound of silence is.

“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously” – Hunter S. Thompson

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Moving On

“I just want my portion of humanity” – Unknown

Today we begin another chapter. Possibly the final.

We left our gate of 13 months this past Monday. Luckily, after a long idle time, the engine turned over and everything worked.

We’ve hung around the Victoria area to get some needed work done on the Motor Home to make it road worthy.

And today we hit the road to Comanche, TX. Going there to visit our good friends Lloyd and Judy. They are working at a Corps Park in the area which is something we hope to be doing this winter.

So a week or so there and then on to Sherman, TX to see doctors and visit our Son and Grand Daughter.

A visit to our Daughter in Tulsa should complete the break and then, hopefully, we will begin our stint with the Corps Park system in October.

While we have no way of gauging the future, we plan to work as long as it is physically possible. What else is there? I can’t just sit on my ass. Travel? I’ve seen more of the world and this country in particular than most.

I do know this for sure. No one should ever work too long without a break. It takes a toll.

“Live long enough, and most of us get just about what we’ve got coming” – Treasure Coast by Tom Kakonis

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The End

“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment” – The Night Shift by Brian Goldman

This coming Monday (7/17) we will finally end a marathon work effort.

13 months without a break. A day off. An hour off.

13 months of breathing dust and inhaling diesel fumes.

13 months of a form of isolation.

13 months of enduring a hostile work environment.

In retrospect, we should not have done that.

The experience has had a profound effect on us. I sense I’m experiencing something akin to the thousand yard stare.

I am so burned out.

I have always subscribed to the idea. Now I understand it. “Stop and Smell the Roses”

“He considered whether you ever found out if you had made the right decisions while you were still alive” – The Redeemer by Jo Nesbo

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Walls

“We live in a world of disposable memory. Nothings built to last, not even shame” – Since We Fell by Dennis Lehane

The older I get, the less tolerant and more reclusive I become.

So it seems.

People come with baggage. Garbage. Problems. Complications. Demands.

At this point in my life I need peace………….not conflict.

So I have been building a fort with walls to keep the world out. Reduce its influence.

And, I’ve done a fairly good job. My circle of friends has slowly closed to a chosen few.

My exposure to world events has been, as much as possible, eliminated.

Unfortunately, this exercise has created a void. A void of consideration. What the hell to think about. To ponder.

Soooooooooooooooo…………….I think more about me, my life, my personal problems.

What I’ve discovered is that I’m a mess. And………….a bit too self-absorbed.

So which is worse? The worlds and other people’s problems or my own?

Is there no escape?

“You soon become lonely if you want to use your brain to find answers” – An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison

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Show Biz

“You seem shocked that it’s a nasty world out there” – Julep Street by Craig Lancaster

So…………………1:30 am. In bed. Asleep. Enjoying a well-earned nights rest.

Not bothering a soul. At peace with the world.

SUDDENLY!   ALARMINGLY!   FRIGHTENLY!

My wife is pounding on my chest………………Bob….wake up……wake up.

My eyes slam open. I see my wife looking like she’s just seen Jesus Christ walking through the RV and I jerk to attention.

What’s wrong? What’s going on? Have we been attacked?

No. But the building across the street just blew up.

What? And then I hear it. A series of explosions. Loud and near. Then….sirens.

Look over there. See it?

What I see is Dante’s inferno. Holy @#$%.

Next morning I took these pics.

While there a reporter from a local channel here in Victoria interviews me about the event. Footage on the 6 pm news.

And that folks is how I got my start in show business. See you on the big screen.

“The effects of disaster, no matter how extreme, do not last forever” – Flight of Dreams by Ariel Lawhon

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Killer Bees

“Both my ex’s only closed their eyes during sex cause they hated to see me have a good time” – The Secrets of Harry Bright by Joseph Wambaugh

In the old “You won’t believe this department”, I had this conversation with a guy passing through the gate today.

John, can you believe this weather?

Hot. This is the third day in a row with record heat in Victoria.

I believe it. It’s hot just standing here talking to you. Haven’t seen you in a while. Where you been?

You won’t believe this.

So last week I was helping my ex out. I loaded up my $5,000 zero turn lawn mower on a trailer and went over to her place to mow her yard. Just to help her out. Because it was so hot. And I’m a nice guy.

Good for you.

Anyway, I’m out there in the noon day heat just mowing away.

Suddenly I’m attacked by a swarm of killer bees. I put the pedal to the metal and cranked that mower up to the max. 10 MPH. Still, could not get away from them.

Really. What did you do?

So I jumped off the mower and started running around the yard. All this time I’m getting stung and it hurt.

Finally, because I couldn’t get away from them, I ran into the house and got in the shower.


Did they follow you there?

A few did but most of them were outside, swarming and slamming into the door.

Finally they left and my ex took me to the ER. I got stung 87 times and the Doc said 30 minutes later and they’d of killed me.

I was in a coma for a day and they gave me some serious shots to counteract the stings. Gave me some good pain juice as well.

Man, this is unbelievable.

That’s not all. Several days later I went to pick up my truck and mower and the $5,000 mower was gone. Somebody stole it. My wonderful ex, who I was doing a favor, said it was not her responsibility to watch the damn thing.

Now I know why she’s your ex. I think you should sue her.

“Chance is a son of a bitch” – Julep Street by Craig Lancaster

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The Grim Reaper

Yesterday morning I woke, sat up and felt weak. Very weak. Could hardly move. Felt my forehead. Sweating and clammy.

What the hell. Is this it? Am I kicking the bucket? Having the big one?

All I could do was lay in bed and contemplate the heat index in hell.

Turns out it was nothing. Probably dehydration or a hypoglycemic attack.

Took it easy all day. Drank lots of water and walla……………..my stud like body gradually returned.

But, for a portion of the day I must admit to moments of critical concern.

And so it goes. At my age health has become a key issue. Maybe the key.

Every time my internal alarm system goes oops, in that moment, I imagine the worst.

One of the results of my rampant imagination is a real desire to learn more about my health.

Google is an amazing source of information. I’m learning.

Unfortunately, looks like there is a price to pay for the extremes of my youth.

Well that sucks.

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.” – Jackie Mason

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Heat Index

This time of the year people start to ruminate about WEATHER.

HOT WEATHER.

TEXAS SUMMER.

For me, I love everything about Texas except JULY & AUGUST.

In a matter of weeks hell envelops us and air conditioners become our life line.

Somehow we will survive.

I think.

Seems like with each passing year it becomes more difficult.

 

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Wait………..What?

“Unwatched words had a way of going where they are warned not to stray.” – Red on Red by Edward Conlon

Ever say or write something only to have another miss your point completely and take offense?

Who’s at fault? You? The listener? Who knows? One or both for sure.

Sometimes the result is very unpleasant.

Feelings hurt. Irritation. Bonds broken. Friendships lost.

All because of a few words. Such a waste.

Sometimes the wound heals. Sometimes it doesn’t.

We get sloppy with our relationships.

We all utter innocuous phrases every day without malice or forethought. And yet, every once in a while, someone will take offense and when that happens, we are stunned.

Often, even friends fail to coexist. No wonder human history is punctuated by war.

“Words fit people into categories, whether they belong there or not.” – A Deadly Shade of Gold by John D. Macdonald

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Here Come The Judge

All generalizations are bad.  ~ R.H. Grenier

Judge Judy. I’m addicted. I love the Judge.

Why does that admission make me feel like an alcoholic at an AA meeting?

Years ago I would empathize with the plaintive. Feel the pain of being wronged. Scowl at the defendant. Piece of human garbage.

Years of watching have rendered me insensitive to both combatants.

Idiots. Losers. How do these people get dressed every day?

No wonder Judge Judy is impatient and, at times, belligerent with these scum sucking pigs.

I’ve got to get a life.

“Words fit people into categories, whether they belong there or not.” – A Deadly Shade of Gold by John D. Macdonald

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