Warning

“There are days when life just falls apart.”

A Consumer alert has been issued for the Continental United States with no expiration date.

It has been confirmed that Walmart shopping carts steal car keys from elderly women.

The most recent occurrence was reported by unknown witnesses at a Walmart in Kenedy, TX.

While the M.O. varies, the theft occurs while the victim, usually an elderly woman with Caucasian features and a French accent, is placing her daily purchases in the trunk of her vehicle.

Apparently, select carts are equipped with a state of the art artificial intelligence and hidden bionic apparatus capable of stealthily removing keys from purses. Even spare keys that are hidden in a zippered pouch.

If you are a victim, keep calm.

And PRAY with all your heart and every ounce of emotional sincerity you are capable of that those keys are found.

If they aren’t, this incident will probably haunt you forever.

Just sayin.

Next day: Hold the presses………………..this just in. The keys were found – firmly enmeshed in the steel braces of a known thief…………………..cart no 13.

You can live inside your experiences or outside of them.” – “The Golem of Hollywood” by Jonathan Kellerman

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8 Responses to Warning

  1. harry bellerby says:

    hey Bob French accent may have been a clue.

    Like

  2. Joe Belken says:

    Better watch who you call elderly, you have to sleep and I know she knows where the knives are.

    Like

  3. harry bellerby says:

    ” an elderly woman” You are so dead!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Texas Heat says:

      What are you talking about? Are you reading something into this Harry?

      Like

    • Texas Heat says:

      You and Harry seem to be drinking the same Kool Ade. Do you actually think this little snippet is about someone I know? You guys………………………….

      Like

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