“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
We met Hal in 1998 at our home RV park on Lake Texoma. He worked there as a greeter type person. Hal was one of the strangest people I’ve ever met. Also one of the scariest.
Hal lived in a rented trailer about a mile from the park. It was located ¼ of a mile off one of the hundreds of back roads that weaved in and out and around the perimeter of Lake Texoma on the Texas side.
That trailer had to be at least 20 years old. A few windows were more cardboard than glass. The sides were covered with vines that snaked over the roof. There was no discernible road or path to his abode.
It reminded me of a hunting blind. It was hard to distinguish it as a dwelling. It looked like something out of the “Grapes of Wrath.” Fact is, if you didn’t know it was there, you’d never see it.
Hal loved to talk about his ability to communicate with aliens. He was good with words and around a campfire at night, he would freak some of us out with tales of aliens in the surrounding woods.
One cool fall night we were enjoying a nice camp fire with several other couples. The beer and margaritas were flowing and so were the lies and tall tales.
Suddenly……Did you hear that? What was that? I thought something moved behind you. A few of the women started freaking out. Guys looked warily around.
Suddenly Hal strolled out of the woods and into the fire light. Hal. With a steel pyramid on his head. Grabbed a beer and sat down. I’m cool.
As I recall that was the night the petition to have Hal committed began to circulate.
This is what the pyramid looked like minus the fruit. There are people who believe this thing has special powers. Special powers or not, the sight of something like this crowning a human skull is creepy.
Conversation with Hal:
Hal – I cured myself of esophageal cancer.
Me – (laughing hysterically)
Hal – I’m serious.
Me – Really. How did you do that?
Hal – The power of the pyramid. And some special fruit cocktails.
Me – There is something wrong with you Hal. You should be locked up.
Hal – I don’t like your attitude.
Me – (After a long pause) Please tell me you don’t own a gun or anything sharp.
Hal – Why?
Me – (skin begins a slow crawl)
Around August, most of us began to avoid Hal. Sometimes, on moon lit nights, we’d see Hal on a lonely stroll with a pyramid perched gingerly on his head. All doors were locked. Garbage cans secured.
Then, in November Hal suddenly disappeared. For months his fate was unknown. Early in December someone reported Hal was selling plots and coffins at a funeral home in Sherman. Ok. How bout them Cowboys.
Several months later I was enjoying a really nice spring day in the park and Hal, out of the blue, drives up. Minus the pyramid.
Me: What the ______? Hal, what’s up?
Hal: (with a grin) Thought we’d go plinkin.
Hal: Ya….you know……..plinkin.
Me: I don’t know Hal. What are you talking about?
Hal: (opens his trunk to expose 2 rifles and several boxes of ammunition) Plinkin. Target shooting.
Me: (for me, the passage of time abruptly stopped) (A crazy man with loaded guns has just asked me to go shoot at stuff)
I called the park police and had Hal escorted off the property. That was the last I saw of him. Got to tell you, I was scared. Really scared.
“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.” – Unknown (probably Hal)