The Walmart Call

“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.”~ Kevin Costner

The Walmart call………a phenomenon sweeping the senior circuit. Well……….maybe not so new but kinda new to me anyway.

The Walmart call is essentially one more piece of evidence of the emasculation of the American male.

It is a cell phone call made by a senior male type person while sitting in his vehicle in a Walmart parking lot while his wife or significant other is inside said Walmart, doing what senior female type persons do better than any other creature on the planet.

That is………………..wander the aisles aimlessly with only a vague idea of why and without a time limit.

It is against the laws of nature for a man to engage in this type of behavior. Therefore, to preserve what testosterone levels he has left, man is reduced to the waiting game. He sits in the vehicle and waits…………………………..and waits…………………………………….and waits.
And calls his buddies.

The Walmart call:

Ajax liquor store….we deliver.

There’s something very wrong with you.

Really…….what are you doing?

This is a Walmart call. What do you think I’m doing?

Ah so. Forgot how light you are in the groin area.

45 minutes and 3 gallons of fuel later…….

Got to run…..my significant other is coming.

400 years ago, there were no taxes and women did all the work. What happened?

“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”

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10 Responses to The Walmart Call

  1. harry bellerby says:

    Bob,enjoy the cold shoulder for dinner and the couch for tonight.

    Like

    • Lynn King says:

      If I know Gaby, she will just laugh and tell Bob that he knew she was a woman when he married her. I remember a female comedienne one time who said…”Hey, we can send a man to the moon….why not all of them?”

      Like

    • Texas Heat says:

      Harry, I’ve trained Gaby well. She is not allowed to read my blog. Well, actually, I don’t think she finds it very interesting and so chooses not to read it. Whatever or however, I manage to remain the ruler of my domain.

      Like

  2. nancy1340 says:

    At least we usually bring something that the “long suffering man” can be put on a over hot charcoal grill and sacrificed to the god of burnt.

    Like

  3. nancy1340 says:

    At least we usually bring something that the “long suffering man” can be put on a over hot charcoal grill and sacrificed to the god of burnt. 😉

    Like

  4. Vickie says:

    Hmmm…I have to say that if we’re labeling then I make the “Home Depot” calls. Yes, we women sit in the cars while waiting for our men to choose the best piece of lumber and the best light bulbs while looking for the best bargain. Yup…I’ll challenge you to a dual of calls:)

    Like

    • Texas Heat says:

      Vickie….I Know what a sweet person you are and understand your harrumph reply. I sense that you are not a misandrist but, like so many of your gender, a touch of misandry runs through your veins. That’s not a bad thing and you know I love you.
      Additionally, when men shop they know exactly what they want, go right for it, buy it, and leave. That, also, is a good thing.

      Like

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